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Christmas Calls

“Where do you think you’re going? Nobody’s leaving. Nobody’s walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We’re all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We’re gonna press on, and we’re gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny fucking Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he’s gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse.”

Dust of those jingle bells, hang the holly high, and shine up the shiny tree balls, it is Christmas! For being a year that has felt like we have been perpetually stuck in March, we suddenly find ourselves looking at the calendar and asking ourselves “WHAT IS THIS!?” This week on The Malliard Report Jim is the spirit of the season and wants you to be too.

Every family seems to have their traditions, themes, and favorite things that they do. On this episode Jim opens up the phone lines to have the listeners share what their favorite holiday traditions, memories and more. What are some of yours? Reach out to Jim on social media @malliard and share with us!

Remember to head over to to catch up on all past shows, subscribe to the newsletter, grab some merch, and even join in on the live chat every Tuesday at 9 pm EST. If you’re listening via podcast, go through your favorite podcast app and rate and subscribe, because those are the gift that keeps on giving. So grab your Red Ryder, grease up the ol’ toboggan, and be sure to drink your Ovaltine.